Thursday, July 16, 2009

This Just In...

I recently became aware that CNN’s darling White Knight, Anderson Cooper, is in real life, gay! This could finally put an end to the mystery of why he has to Goddamn squint his eyes all the fucking time, as it is because he’s making the best effort he can to not fart all that sperm out of his asshole. Lord knows Blitzer would be all over that live shot in a cockbeat (cockbeat= 0.4 seconds, according to the George Michael bathroomstall dictionary).

Side note: there are also reports that Jack Cafferty could be an alien.

1 comment:

  1. I think this posting is hilarious. Seriously, don't let anyone out there tell you otherwise! You're gonna make it big kid, you listen to what I say! Let the haters hate.

    -Jay Leno